On the Side

As we tumble into fall, things change.  We shift from a (hopefully!) lighter weight summer into (up here in the mountains, at least) what needs doing before the snow flies?  Sunrise has gone from an easy 5 a.m., and the knowing that there are hikers already out on trails, trying to reach summits to experience sunrise, to witness our little blue ball is still turning, as it has for millennia.

I am a disciple of “What one more thing?”  It’s my mantra that kicks in response to a feeling of being overwhelmed starting to enter the room.  I do that one thing I can do – even if it’s not the optimal priority – and, generally, it will roll me through at least one checkmark of accomplishment that propels me into another task and, eventually, into what I’m no really up for doing.

What happens when that fails?

(Yikes.) 

So that’s my body up at today’s 6 a.m., in the dark, past the mid-point of October, wheels spinning from a bop on the nose I took yesterday because someone was unkind, plus work hang-over that I had to do because someone else didn’t get their list done on time.

One of those mornings.

 I try routine, first.  Turn on the kitchen lights.  Fresh water into the kettle.  Turn on the stove. Listen to those bubbles starting to perk the water.  Put some clean dishes in the drying rack away in the cupboards.  Rearrange contents of one shelf – there, that looks nicer.

Ugh.

Still there.

Still off my game. No question.

Okay, so let’s try this go-to: the “on the side.”  You still want that “What one thing?” prompt because you know it so well?  Put that in your non-dominant hand.  You can even write it down on a piece of paper and literally hold it in the air.  Now pick up that pen, pencil, marker, crayon, whatever and grab a colored piece of paper.  It could even be a brown, paper bag from the store, especially if it’s one with handles.

Now: sit.

 Just pick one next thing to do.  Whatever catches your eye in your immediate space.  I spy with my little eye a book that needs to get wrapped and go into today’s mail because I received a purchase order two days ago.  Perfect.  On the colored piece of paper write down one random thought, popping up, interrupting your cuppa tea.  Get new tires.  Yowza! That’s what pops up next?  That is a legitimate distraction.  #truth is I’ve been putting that off for two months, partly using work as an excuse, because to get to the car repair shop I have to take a ferry and going 34 miles will take 90 minutes and probably necessitate two trips and that will cost me two days’ time on top of the bill for the four tires.  Fair, legitimate – validate that to yourself.  I’ll love having new shoes on my car.  I’ll be safer on the road, especially in winter weather.  They’ll last a couple years, at least.  But, in the short-time, there’s pain involved in this task.

Right now, it’s going onto the colored paper list. I’m claiming and facing that it needs doing. It has “made the list on the side.” I can’t do it next, but I will do it in just a moment in time as I clean up a few other items cluttering my thoughts and my living space. 

Back up a sec. Did I tell you how I set up that piece of colored paper?  I fold it into squares, initially keeping it as one piece.  Once I have captured about 6-8 things nagging me, I stop.  That’s enough. Let’s not make a full lined sheet of paper worth of 30 things, even if that would be true. It will simply make it a bigger emotional lift. Instead, trust that your brain is surfacing what actually needs your attention.  I then consciously take 5 minutes on the clock (whilst the kettle boils is a good timer) to see if I can’t put the items in best priority and number the items.

If the list doesn’t cause me to freak-out, I keep it whole.  In fact, today, I’ve used a store bag with a handle so that I can hang it somewhere funny, like from a kitchen cupboard nob.  I can see it.  I start working it, mentally.  I start doing other things, like vacuuming, or washing a floor, or cleaning the bathroom, and I remind myself that these random items are actually what I need to do for me (like the new tires).  To take care of me (like scheduling the dentist appointment).  To make my life function better in big ways (like the eye care with new glasses appointment).

(Yes, this morning’s short list is expensive and clearly evidences what I’ve put off too long.)

And (getting back to “comfort”), I allow myself to be surprised that on today’s list, there are actually items that – although laden with feelings of guilt for not getting to sooner – are actually going to bring me joy.  On that list is bake cookies for neighbors.  For no reason other than I found these four super cute desert plates at a local thrift shop, which would be perfect for baking cookies and giving them away to neighbors.  Now there’s an idea that started out as something really special and spontaneous, and work got in the way.  I bought the bag of Nestle’s dark chocolate chips.  I have flour, sugar, butter, baking (is it ‘soda’ or ‘powder’) something white, and eggs from one of those neighbors. Why wouldn’t I do that first?

Surprised?  Me, too. 

Not everything we’d like to get to is negative.  Good reminder!  Sometimes, we get gummed up because our desire to do something good gets delayed or flummoxed or waylaid.  No matter.  Who needs an excuse for homemade cookies when there’s a break from the deadlines?  What if it turns out that my timing on “finally” baking the cookies means I end up at a neighbor’s door just when she needs to see a smiling face?  I mean, aren’t we all this morning just a bit discombobulated at yesterday’s news coverage of the White House going under construction?  There’s that short-term, long-term thing that signals you and I both need a touch of comfort.

So: let’s bake those cookies and eat one, while picking up the phone and at least making the eye glasses appointment.  It’s okay!  You and I both can pick the least intimidating items and go from there.  I can get to work an hour from now and I can put the appointment in my calendar.  That’s check + check, and my goal of getting past the initial reluctant start to the day is moved past and through.

I find that quite often, the comfort I need is simply to get my body in motion to get my emotions out of the rutty patch, especially as the days get shorter and the temperatures wind down.  This morning, I’m not going to say no to a warm oven, the sound of my hand-held mixer metal beaters, and the waft of chocolate chip cookies filling the air.